mamaUK

This week

Bits and pieces from our week so far. Admiring the styling and photography in the mini Boden Spring 2012 catalogue that just dropped though our door. I especially like the way the light is captured on the front cover. Renewing Passports. Loving seeing the Haba Gummy Bears and Biscuits in a Tin being played with, oh so perfect for a pretend picnic. Last night baking a very British nursery pudding, a warm and comforting pear sponge served with custard. Little L declared she liked it, Miss K said she didn't. Walking to school this morning in the pouring rain. Catching up with laundry and making pizza dough.

Resisting the pressure to over-schedule your children.

Miss K

Simplicity means something different to each person, to each family, and within that unique family, simplicity can have so many different facets. Simplicity and minimalism in the home is much more than just throwing things out (although decluttering is key for simplifying at home for our family) there are so many other ways that you can live a lighter, more simple family life. Simplifying usually means cutting down on something or eliminating something. This can make room for something better. But 'something better' doesn't have to be a physical object, that  'something better' can be as simple as the gift of time, breathing spaces in your day, time to nurture yourself and your family.

Minimalism to me doesn't mean just 'stuff' (or lack of stuff.) It is a way of living. One way we live a minimalist life is by having a simplified rhythm to our week in the hours after school. Miss K leads a busy life going to school five days a week. To try and balance this out I make sure I pare down her schedule to an absolute minimum and don't over-load her with extra-curricular activities or after-school play-dates.

Although clubs are offered in Miss K's school, she doesn't attend any of them as I feel that after just over six hours at school in any one day, it's time for her to be at home. She doesn't need any more time at school. She needs the opportunity to relax, play, just be a child away from the pressures of school life.

I have made the conscious choice that Miss K doesn't go to any after-school play dates as a rule. I feel she needs to be able to spend time within the family home, we save play-dates with school friends until the holidays. This way she is revived and full of energy and able to enjoy playing with a friend, rather than feel low on energy and unable to play so well because it's the end of the school day.

We have always cut right back on extra-curricular activities for Miss K right from when she started school and by maintaining our simplified rhythm to our week in the hours after school, we have been able to make room for that 'something better' for us. We have given ourselves time to supplement school life with elements of Waldorf-inspired education into daily life. By fiercely protecting segments of time, we are, in turn, protecting our own family life, opportunities to connect and honour our relationships with our children, time to just be. 

winter

It actually felt like winter this morning. We woke up to another frosty morning, the children stood on tippy-toes peering out of their bedroom windows to see ice crystals decorating the outside world. They talked about Jack Frost visiting in the night and how he will be ready to nip fingers and toes as they step out of the door. On the walk to school they noticed the pretty patterns in the frost. They reached out and gently touched the tiny tendrils of ice ferns, creeping along walls and frosting fallen leaves.

To celebrate these frosty mornings we plan to collect berries, twigs and leaves so we can make our own little ice windows by laying them out in water to freeze overnight. You can see a detailed description of how to make Ice Windows in the Winter edition of Juno magazine.

When the children come in from school tonight, I am going to read the Brambley Hedge Winter Story before tea, 'The mice had smelled snow in the air, and were all hurrying home to a nice hot supper by the fire.' Such a cosy scene!

Are there any little ways you're celebrating the winter season?

Simplifying at home

Simplifying Miss K's art resources

For me, our first steps towards living a simplified life at home was to get rid of the excess 'stuff'. Do you remember when I wrote about my decluttering intentions here last January? I found it so hard to write about it in this space even though there was so much I wanted to say about living a minimalist, clutter-free life. I didn't know if you would be interested in what I was, essentially, throwing out of our home. Decluttering is such a huge part of  our journey towards living a simple, minimalist, anti-consumerist life with my family, I knew I had to write about it. 'Simplifying', 'living lighter', 'decluttering', however you want to describe it,  felt like such an overwhelming subject. Where do you even begin? So I am just going to jump right in and hope to find the words I need. And maybe some more words in the future.

Well, I cleared so much out last year, bags and bags of things that were just unnecessary in our home, cluttering up our living environment. Things that had to be lifted up and moved just to find something or to clean around. Things that took up mental energy by just being  in our home, even though they weren't used or admired, literally just stuffed into cupboards, or in spaces under beds, looking dusty and so untidy. We don't have a loft space or garage for storage, so everything we have, has to be directly in our immediate living spaces around the home. No putting stuff into boxes and storing out of sight just in case we might need something in the future. Everything we own needs to be useful or beautiful to us right now, here in the present, in our present.

In 2012 I hope to peel back another layer of stuff to try to live a truely minimalist, simplified family life. Simplified/minimalist living is not a one time thing, for us it will be an on-going journey. Do you have any tips for living a more simplified life at home?

outdoor winter play

Now daylight is lasting that little bit longer, we're having plenty of time for outdoor winter play before darkness pushes us back indoors again into the cosy warmth of home. It was mild and late  in the afternoon, the sun sinking low in the sky. The children ran around the park shouting, shrieking and laughing, feeling joy and freedom in the large, open space. By the time we headed back home, the almost- full moon was out, looking pretty in the fading light next to the stark, silhouettes of winter trees.

When I think of outdoor family time, I usually think of late spring and summer days but that afternoon reminded me there is a happiness in being outdoors in winter too, especially if you catch the last hour of sunlight during the day, the golden hour, for some magical play before bed.

dress-up

Dressing up time with a watermelon smile, laughter, polkadot ribbons, twirling... this girl melts my heart.

raindrops

A late afternoon walk to blow away the cobwebs on a wintery afternoon. After a quick shower-burst, there were plenty of puddles for jumping and sloshing through. We admired the winter raindrops glistening and shimmering where they had fallen.

A look back at 2011 in pictures

 

Wishing you all peace and happiness in the New Year xxx

How to cope with unwelcome plastic toy gifts in your home

(Little L carrying her basket of playsilks up the stairs)

Thank you so much for the beautiful, supportive comments on my last post. I realised when I was writing that it came across as a whole lot of over-thinking on such a simple subject of whether or not to have Lego in our home, but when habits become ingrained and you are so used to living a certain way change can be hard. But as children grow, their needs change and change becomes necessary.

Several of you asked the question, 'How do you cope with unwelcome toys/gifts?' What worked for our little family were several  frank discussions with close relatives about our family values and how we made the decision that we would like the children to play with natural toys and most importantly, why we had chosen this path. It wasn't just some passing fancy, it was the way we wanted to live and bring up our children.

I know gift-giving is an emotive and complex subject, with many differing view points. Some people would say that it is not the parents choice to tell the gift-giver what to give to their children. I personally think it is the parents choice to decide what is suitable for their child's play environment, so with communication being the key, both parties can be happy with a little parental guidence. We are particularly lucky to have very understanding close relatives who are happy for us to suggest gift ideas for birthdays and Christmas a few months before these special occasions. Here a few ideas of how to stay plastic-free:

: : In the first year or two of becoming plastic-free we used to have the Myriad catalogue on hand (a UK based Steiner influenced natural toy mail order company) so we could talk with relatives about different gift ideas. Obviously, natural toys can be expensive so we made it clear that quality was so much more important than quantity when it comes to toys. After all, simplicity is key in our family anyway, so this was actually an advantage for us as we didn't want the children to become overwhelmed with too many toys. If being a plastic-free family is what you strive for and is something new for your family, then leaving a natural toy catalogue around when relatives come visiting is a great conversation starter on your hopes and dreams for your family life and perfect for opening up the lines of communication about how you would like to shape your child's play environment.

: : We love to suggest the idea of gift experiences, is there a day out your child/children would love? For Little L's Birthday last year, my parents paid for a family day out to a farm for the four of us. You can also send photos of your visit with a thank you note, so they know how much fun your child/children had as a momento. 

: : Ask if relatives would be happy to contribute to one large, special present for your child. I remember one year, we asked all of the children's close relatives to contribute to a beautiful, wooden play kitchen and enamel pots and pans for the girls which was such an appreciated gift. It still gets played with everyday.

: :If your child has a birthday party and you are worried about the influx of plastic toys, or just toys in general, you could specify on the invitation 'No presents please, we would just love the gift of your company on ________ special day.' Or, on the invitation you could politely ask for gifts of crafting materials if your child enjoys making things. Another idea that seems quite popular, is asking the party guest to bring a gender neutral wrapped book with no gift label which gets placed in a large box when they arrive at the party. On the way out, along with their party bag they can choose a surprise wrapped book to take home so each child has a new book to enjoy.

Other people might say that relatives enjoy choosing gifts independently and do not want be 'told' what to give. While I can appreciate this, I  personally think that the person gifting the present should respect the wishes of the family they are giving it too so as not to waste time or money on something that is not wanted in the first place. It is only fair to let relatives know of your dreams for your families play space well in advance of your little ones special day. I know that sometimes there can be power struggles in familes, where a relative might think that they 'know' best what to give to your child. If, even after you have discussed things and your requests are being ignored, it might be the moment to get tough and say that the unwanted plastic toys will be donated to a charity where they can be sold for a good cause. It is very rare that I give a present to anybody, without asking first if there is something they need or would like for themselves or their children.

What I do know is that if you are unable to talk to relatives about gift-giving for whatever reason, it is not worth sacrificing family relationships for the sake of toys, there are ways and means of weeding out unwanted plastic toys in your home at a later date...

Being plastic-free and having Waldorf-inspired toys in your home is simpler when you are living with babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers and slightly older but when they start hitting the age of six onwards, it can get trickier trying to meet the needs of the child and the values of your family, but that is a whole other blog post.

*Please note, that this is simply how we have coped with un-wanted plastic toys in our own family and is what has worked for us in our home*

Deciding to bring Lego into a Waldorf inspired, plastic- free home

As far as toys are concerned, our home has been 'plastic- free' for the past four years. We made this choice because we feel that toys made from natural materials are healthier to play with and if made from wood, wool or cloth are warmer to the touch compared to cold, hard plastic.

I'm such a purist about the type of the toys in our home that I found it quite difficult to introduce to Lego into the play area, especially seeing as we have been so careful to stay plastic- free. Although I personally found it hard to let go of my ideals about what are the 'best' toys for K and L, I knew I needed to think about what the children will have joy playing with. So I thought about the plus points of Lego:

: : It's open-ended and encourages creative play. I looked at the toy as a whole rather than at what it was made from. I wasn't not going to buy Lego just because it is made from plastic. But that doesn't mean I am opening the flood gates to plastic toys in our home.

: : It's BPA free.

: : Lego is a Waldorf 'equaliser'/'normaliser' for our home for when the chidren have friends over from non-Waldorf families as they get older. They don't attend a Waldorf school but a regular state primary school. Our play area is beautiful, but it does not have mainstream toys that six year olds expect to find.

: : Lego creates easy play opportunities between the girls and their Daddy. It looks like he will always be ready to help them build their creations or search for a specific brick.

We are keeping away from the media themed sets completely and decided to stick with the buckets of brightly coloured bricks as I wanted them to appeal to my 'girly' girls. Because of this we chose the My First Lego Town and the two starter boxes of Large Pink Bricks Box and the Small Lego Pink Bricks Box which contained pretty, brighty coloured Lego bricks. I am not sure how I feel about the new 'Lego Friends' sets, aimed specifically at girls through their design, not just from the colour of the bricks.  I was shocked to see the new mini-figures, they seem to be a cross between Playmobil and Polly Pocket. I personally love how the tradtional mini-figures look! If I gave a box of the 'Lego Friends' to K and L though, I am sure they would love it.

I have a feeling that the Lego is going to get daily play! Miss K and Little L have already spent several hours playing with it today. We love our Lego here!

Are you a Waldorf/Waldorf-inspired/plastic- free family? Do you have Lego?